Male - Female Dictionary

[1] THINGY (thing-ee) n.Female: Any part under a car's hood.
Male: The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

[2] VULNERABLE (vul-NE-Ra-bel) adj.
Female: Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male: Playing football without a cup.

[3] COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-in- Kay-shon) n.
Female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male: Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.

[4] COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female: A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male: Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.

[5] ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn- ment) n.
Female: A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male: Anything that can be done while drinking beer.

[6] FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female: An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion.
Male: A source of entertainment, self-_expression, male bonding.

[7] REMOTE CONTROL (RI-moht kon-troh l) n.
Female: A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male: A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.

[8] He said, She said
He said: I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said: You wear pants don't you?

He said: Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said: That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit
On the sofa and fart!

He said: What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said: Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

He said: How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
She said: We don't know; it has never happened.

He said: Why are married women heavier than single women?
She said: Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed
Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

No comments: